Nicole vs. Life
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
