OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize