look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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