So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
