didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
