I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
