We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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