She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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