thus making me awesome and them whores
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
