I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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