it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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