I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
