Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
