I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
