I'm lost and stupid without you.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
