Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i out mim tonsoeep
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
