the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
