I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
