Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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