Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You need a sexual gate keeper
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
