I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
