cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
