you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
