so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
