he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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