New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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