she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
