...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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