at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
