how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
