She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
