If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
