How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
