I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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