Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
