he thought i was a dude.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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