Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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