We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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