Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
