So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
