If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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