i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just cropdusted the office
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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