Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
