separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm too high and old for this...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i out mim tonsoeep
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
