do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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