Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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