She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
