Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize