My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
