how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
