I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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