haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize