Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
