She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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